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BACHMANN SETS NEW TONE WITH BRAVE NEW ALBUM

July 18, 2011

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, in an effort to court GLBT voters who, up until recently (and for good reason), had felt justifiably distanced from the GOP presidential hopeful, partly due to her controversial positions on women’s reproductive rights, homosexuality and slavery, today released a brave new album of campaign tunes with covers of Lady Gaga, Queen, Melissa Etheridge, Rufus Wainwright and Cher songs in hopes of winning over skeptical voters. The 52-minute LP includes anthems such as “Don’t Hide Your Love,” “Turn the Beat Around,” “I Will Survive” and “Y.M.C.A.”

The album’s rousing titular track, Ozzy Osbourne’s 1980 classic “Crazy Train,” sets a breakneck pace for this pounding, bluegrass-infused record, which features her husband Marcus on their renditions of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” and ABBA’s “Dancing Queen,” with cowbell credits on Diana Ross’ “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.”

The album rounds off with a moving piano ballad—Dusty Springfield’s “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me,” with an exposed and vulnerable Michele at the keys, her soulful vocals providing the perfect close at the beginning of what is likely to be an exhilarating campaign, hopefully with her gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered supporters at her side.

Because if anything can unite these two sides on common ground, it’s bluegrass and gay anthems.

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Just to cover my bases, this is not—I repeat NOT—an actual news story (though it would be pretty damned hilarious if it were). It came from the recesses of my imagination, my fear and loathing of Michele Bachmann, and was inspired by this weekend’s episode of NPR’s Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!

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