63. pastiche

This post was inspired by an episode of This American Life where some of their frequent contributors offered their own take on William Carlos Williams’ famous poem, “This Is Just To Say” (in particular, Kenneth Koch’s “Variations on a Theme by William Carlos Williams,” which can be read here). I’m feeling rather down and lonely tonight, and this is the way it came out. These seem like inevitable conversations I will have, if they ever happen at all.

This Is Just To Say…

1.
I ruined your evening by smashing your picture today.
I am sorry but I felt unlikable and it made sense.
One way or another you will leave.

2.
You asked me to drop the gunnysack I drag around.
It is heavy but I am angry at it so I said no.
Your eyes were terribly sad.

3.
I wanted to tell you I loved you in the garden
but the words came out covered in thorns
and they cut you and I ran away

4.
I yelled at you for not calling on the 4th of July
and you said that we met the month after
but by then I was deaf and blind and in the car

62. quandary

One of the frustrating truths I seem to have hit upon of dating in your late 20s is that by this time, just like post-Christmas or -Black Friday, all the good deals seem to have been snatched up by everyone who was camped out at the door at 3am—or dating (like normal people) when they were 18.

At this point, if you’re in your late 20s and single, it seems it’s either because you’re in my predicament (got started later than most for reasons that warrant another post) or there’s something wrong with you. For me, it seems to break down into four categories:

1. You lack social skills/have issues and don’t understand why you’re still single.
2. You’re not done playing the field or the clubs and aren’t ready to commit… yet.
3. Your career doesn’t leave room for a guy, or you’re on the road constantly.
4. Other (such as you happen to live too far away… or have HIV and/or Syphilis).

Well, it’s July, and I’m still single, so—true to my word—I should just suck it up and become an alcoholic because it’s going to be an ‘effing long decade, it sucks being alone, and a better offer hasn’t turned up.

Happy 4th, everyone.