49. occlumency

Standard

My apologies, friends, Romans. Countrymen.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

This time two years ago I was getting settled into a job at Target as an overnight team member (glorified expression for night stockperson). It wasn’t a bad job. The hours were crap, and it put a serious crimp on my social life—after all, it’s hard to spend time with people when they’re getting off work at 6 or 7, and you have to run off to work at 9pm, and then work until 6:30am.

Fast forward to November of 2008, I got the job at the recording art school and returned to the land of the living. It went okay for a while, but then after my “introductory period” my boss, Tina Nevala, started to ignore me. (In hindsight, what she did was make sure I’d stick around and then start treating me like just another piece of office furniture.) I’d try to say hello, be pleasant, but was met by cold indifference, or less. And it started getting worse. The workload got progressively larger, and my boss would point out every single flaw with what I’d do, criticising me for not being both a full-time receptionist and full-time administrative assistant. And never a kind or positive word in that entire time.

It got progressively worse from there. This past month the school was preparing for its largest Fall start ever, getting student records and forms in place before they get to orientation. I was exhausted, and our receptionist decided to take the week off, which meant I was spending half the day down at the front desk (which meant that I had to be a full-time receptionist as well as do my own job).

Then last Friday, the 16th, after a hellish week of working full-time and getting through dress and tech rehearsals for the show I was musical directing, Tina calls me over to the director’s office, who proceeded to inform me that my work at the school is no longer satisfactory and that they were letting me go. Basically, she decided that now that they’d gotten through the busiest period that I was expendable—after she’d worked me practically to death, and made me feel like a total failure, she went a step further by saying in not so few words that I just wasn’t good enough.

Part of me is relieved to no longer be working there. It was a crappy job, not the best pay, driving to and parking in downtown Minneapolis, for a boss who didn’t appreciate me at all and went out of her way to make me feel as small and as bad about myself as possible. Fortunately there were people there who were supportive and made being there somewhat bearable.

But part of me is terrified now because I don’t have a job, and there are still bills to pay. I’ve been distributing resumes for the past few weeks; dusted off my Monster and CareerBuilder accounts; and that Friday I actually went home and started sending out resumes like crazy. Monday I’m going into a temp agency to do some testing and start getting some assignments. At this point I just need a job.

I really want to start teaching piano more—full-time, or as close to, if possible. I love having students, and watching them grow from the minute they step into my studio to the day they leave at the end of the year for summer break. The only trouble is that a lot of families are cutting back due to the economy, and music lessons tend to be luxury items nowadays. So I’m working on getting my name out there, getting referrals from students, applying at various music studios around town.

Basically, I can’t waste my life in an office, pushing papers and trading hours for a paycheck. Hours that I can never get back, and those hours should be going towards something that counts.

Sigh.

That’s the news, friends. I shaved too. Had facial hair of some sort for the past five years, and this is the first time that I’ve been bare-faced in ages. It’s interesting to see how my face has changed!

Shalom.

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